i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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