I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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