I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
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We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
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My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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