the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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