I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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