words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
