I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
