11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
