so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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