I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
