I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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