I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
