I just made out with a guy for $7.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
