big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I need a beard to bite.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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