You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
should my penis look like a turkey
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize