i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
