Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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