Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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