Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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