The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
