some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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