Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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