so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
