I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
