You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
