you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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