There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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