No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
