Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
