I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Sext me about skeletons
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
