fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
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