I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
