ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
