No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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