Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
