im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
