You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
