Porn is love you can see.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Houston, we have a squirter
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
