There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
