my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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