that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize