i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
