My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
