my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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