paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize