He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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