She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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