Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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