I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
