The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
