She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
