Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
