dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize