I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize