i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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