Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
