ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
ttyl tear gas
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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