She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize