she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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