I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
